Processing boyhood trauma — #MeToo TW: trauma and sexual assault . . . Our childhood “romance” started out as innocent admiration which later evolved into mild obsession. Obsession begat desire (albeit forbidden desire) and desire led to consummation. This consummation did not fill me up, but left a void. After a few years of acquaintance…

From exile to chosen — I still remember the first time someone told me that I was a sin. Of course, they said “homosexuality” was a sin, but what I heard and knew was that I was fundamentally wrong — a stain on the fabric of God’s otherwise perfect creation. I may not remember the…

A “first time” story — Discovering pleasure in the midst of a “harmless” game “First time” stories are of course a ubiquitous cliche of creative nonfiction. The “vomiting during the blowjob” story (I can tell you one too), the “the pain of first penetration narrative,” and many more funny stories. My story is about games. Seemingly harmless, playful, yet damaging games that we played…

How I won my first fight — Another boyhood lesson in toxic masculinity This was a summer sometime in adolescence (I never promised a perfect chronology!). I do remember that it was hot as hell, the harsh Indiana humidity compounded by the heat-trapping qualities of the alleyway blacktop made it nearly unbearable. I, of course, was out following on Z’s coattails. His agenda…

First short story of my memoir The Games We Play: Growing Up Black and Gay N.B. This story was written prior to the author’s realization of their non-binary gender identity. The dead pronouns are preserved as a memorial to the “little boy” who was put to rest in 2020. Alley Politics The Rules of Engagement My…

Embracing presence and the courage to love today… — Firstly, I must apologize for my hiatus from writing. I underestimated the amount of emotional energy and labor that my first year at new job would require. Fear not, though, my faithful readers! …